then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize