someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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