i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
