they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
