last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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