yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
