he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
