you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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