I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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