yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
