The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize