somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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