At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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