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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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