I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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