Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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