I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
