i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
