if you like me you must not know who I am
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
of course. lets lasso hookers.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
