Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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