Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
