We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
