Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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