I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
