If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
