my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i think my mom watched the whole time
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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