I hate your face
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
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Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
i've created a new STD.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
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the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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