I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
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I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
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I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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