Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize