i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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