can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
