420 ftw
from now on my penis is your penis
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
