My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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