fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
