Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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