Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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