I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
