just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
