Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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