he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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