So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
