...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
