please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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