Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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