Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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