I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
You are a genius and a whore.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
