What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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