It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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