The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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