guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
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Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
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