I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize
