Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
