It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
don't judge my taste in strippers
We are all done wearing pants today
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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