this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
