Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
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