your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
