Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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