Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
