And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
her vagine was all disorganized.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
