Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
