did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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