$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
